Writing and being creative: a new piece being birthed, a procreative ecstatic tingling energy of new life, which, with repetition, often transitions into a less excited and yet deep space. Often I've thought I was doing something wrong and missing the original essence of the music when this transition would happen, out of the ecstatic wide-eyed bliss and into something more mellow, in the deep practice. I wanted to be in that inspired state all the time when I was creating. I would push songs through and record them quickly and sloppily, not totally satisfied, but wanting to preserve that original essence.
Now i'm taking more time with the music and letting it change me. Going through a form of grieving of that way of relating to music where it's short lived, intense, like a honeymoon phase of relationship. Now I'm embracing the slow diligence of fleshing out and unfolding what a song is asking to become.
I'm reminded of something the Russian concert pianist Valentina Lisitsa said, that the process of deep practice is transforming a raw block into smooth granite: stable, unmoving, yet polished.
I still welcome the raw undefined energies of creativity to live in each performance of a song, like when I was growing up, our yard always had a wild area of uncontrolled natural growth.